Hearing Bing Crosby singing “Hark! the Herald Angels Sing” soothes me. Jose Feliciano’s “Feliz Navidad” puts me a festive mood. Some co-workers decorated my office door with Christmas-themed wrapping paper and I think it looks very pretty. Last Saturday we watched an old-school Rudolph cartoon featuring Red Skelton’s voice! Tonight, as I head home for the Christmas long weekend I’ll take particular note of the extra friendliness and the random “Merry Christmas” greetings from passersby, and I will return the smiles and the greetings.
I confess - I enjoy the Christmas season. It has its place in my life to be sure. I never went out of my way to learn about Christmas but I know a decent amount about the holiday and the different ways my friends partake of it. That comes from growing up with mostly Christian friends.
As much as I love the Christmas season though, I draw the line at adopting the holiday for me and my family. I draw a line between enjoying the environment and wishing my Christian friends a joyous and merry Christmas on one side and adopting Christmas in my own home on the other side. I am a Muslim and I am raising my children to be Muslims too.
Until this year the line between enjoying the sights and sounds of Christmas and bringing it into our home was never questioned. That changed when one of our Muslim neighbors put up a Christmas tree in their home.
As we pulled out of our drive way one evening earlier this month one of my kids asked me if we could have a Christmas tree. The question didn’t phase me. I had my answer and an explanation ready to go.
I told her very confidently: “Honey, we don’t put up Christmas trees because we aren’t Christian. Christmas is a Christian holiday. We celebrate our ‘eid’ celebrations . Those are our Muslim holidays.” I thought that was going to be the end of it.
My kids weren’t buying it.
“But Fatima and Muhammad have a Christmas tree in their house!” protested my son. I looked over at my wife. She nodded her head and pointed to our neighbors’ home as we drove by it. There it was in their front room, brightly lit and clearly visible from the street. A big, decorated Christmas tree.
“Well guys, they may have a Christmas tree in their home, but we will not. We’re Muslims, and Christmas is a special holiday for our Christian friends” I said.
“Maybe Fatima and Muhammad aren’t Muslims” suggested one of my kids.
No! That’s not the right attitude! I don’t want them to be so judgmental, I thought to myself! But I also want to make it absolutely clear that Christmas is not our holiday.
I made my best case to my kids. I explained that we do not believe it is appropriate for Muslims to celebrate Christian holidays, but that it is important for us to wish our Christians friends well as they celebrate it. I also told them that we cannot judge Muslims who choose to do things we think are wrong, because that is neither our right nor responsibility. It is for God to judge us all.
I ran into my neighbor the other day at a party and we discussed her family’s Christmas tree. She did not see any harm in having the tree. The crux of her reasoning for having the Christmas tree is that Christmas is a secular American holiday, she wants her kids to see themselves as fully American and so they put up the tree for those reasons.
I respectfully disagree.
Christmas is a Christian holiday just like Eid ul Fitr is a Muslim holiday. There are lots of Muslims who neither fast nor pray in Ramadan and do not attend Eid ul Fitr prayers on Eid day, and yet they celebrate Eid with food and family with all the vigor of more observant Muslims. That doesn’t make Eid ul Fitr any less a Muslim holiday. Similarly, just because some people celebrate Christmas as a secular tradition doesn’t make it any less a Christian holiday.
The other part of her argument - the one about having the Christmas tree so her kids feel more American - is also troublesome. What does celebrating Christmas have to do with being American?
We are Americans and we’ve never had a Christmas tree. I came to America with my parents 38 years ago and we’ve never felt the need to adopt Christmas in order to feel more American.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the value of symbols. Our family displays the American flag outside our home. We display it proudly all year round. The American flag, more than a Christmas tree, is symbolic of our identity as Americans.
At our home we use holidays like Veterans Day, Memorial Day and Independence Day as more than just a day off school or work. We attend memorials. We run in charity runs to raise money for wounded veterans. These are some of the things that make us Americans. In our family we make it a point on these holidays to focus on our identity as both American and Muslim.
My kids must understand that we don’t need to be like our Christian neighbors to be accepted by them. I want my kids to be respectful of the religious values and holidays of their friends of different faiths and to be confident that their friends will do the same for them. I want them to understand that this diversity is a hallmark of being American.
Some Muslim friends offered the argument that Jesus* is an honored prophet in Islam, and as such, celebrating the birth of Jesus is not at odds with our faith.
I do not disagree with either of these points, and yet I do not find this to be a persuasive argument. My objection isn’t so much theological as it is practical.
In America Christmas is fun. It’s pretty. And it’s everywhere. Our eid lights, decorations, songs and parties are fun and pretty too, but they don’t compare with the marketing power of Christmas. If we adopt Christmas as one of our holidays (even with an overtly Muslim spin to it), it will quickly and permanently overshadow our Muslim celebrations. This would be a tragedy.
But for those Muslims who are keen to honor Jesus by celebrating Christmas, I respectfully ask “What would Jesus do?” Would he want his legacy to be a Christmas decoration?Charity and justice are cornerstones of Islam and Jesus’ life was full of acts of charity and justice. To those Muslims who feel they must incorporate Christmas into their families I suggest they take their kids to a soup kitchen, pass out blankets to the homeless or find some other, sustainable way of serving the needy.
Our family is living proof that being well integrated in an interfaith community while also cultivating a strong American identity side by side with our Muslim faith is quite doable.
And so far we’re doing it without the Christmas tree!
(Merry Christmas to all of my Christian friends! May this be a blessed time for you!)
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*I've omitted the phrase "peace be upon him" after Jesus' name with the hope that Muslims will be mindful of saying this prayer each time they read his name.
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